Sex with the former – whether it is necessary to enter the same river twice | Psychology of relations

Sex with the former – whether it is necessary to enter the same river twice.

Sex with the former – whether it is necessary to enter the same river twice | Psychology of relations
Have sex with the former is the same as putting on an old couple of shoes, which you still can’t get rid of. Yes, they have seen the best species and have long asked for a commission, but on the other hand they are surprisingly comfortable: perfectly varied, no blisters or gratings that can be obtained in the process of “getting used to” for new shoes. So, we will put them at once again or still send them on a well -deserved rest?

If you still think about returning to a pleasant old hobbies with your “ex”, there are several things that you must keep in mind first.

The advantages of sex with the former

The main plus is real opportunity to get an orgasm (Of course, if an intimate has previously led to orgasms with this person). In addition, there are other positive points.

Good sex

You need to get used to the new partner, learn his intimate desires and talk about his. And the time -tested lover already knows everything that is required. So, if the relationship with the former remains good, then sex will also turn out very good. You no longer need to be shy, something to portray too-after all, there are no plans for the renewal of relations. But you can completely relax and get the desired pleasure.

Improving self -esteem

Sex with the former can be proof of their own attractiveness and sexuality. The fact that a person who agreed to a break is still continuing to experience attraction to you is very pleasant. Of course, you can increase self -esteem with new partners, but the proven option is more reliable.

Peace of mind

A breakdown of relations is always stress, even if the parting occurred by mutual agreement. If a girl experiences moral discomfort due to the collapse of her relationship, sex with the former will help this feeling to eliminate. There will be an understanding that the partner does not experience negativity for you and is even ready to give joy in bed again. Sometimes such sex can become the beginning of a long friendship.

Getting rid of offense

After parting on the soul, resentment may remain – rudeness, distrust, indifference from the former partner. If intimacy occurs again, unpleasant feelings will most likely pass. You will have a pleasant aftertaste from the last sex, and then it will be easier to start the search for a new person for a serious relationship.


Often, people after breaking up relationships experience negative emotions to each other. Good is forgotten, but the bad is the best. It is difficult to believe in love with such a luggage, and this is necessary in order to gain happiness in a personal life. Sex with the former is a great way to complete an unsuccessful relationship and at the same time stay with a pleasant sensation of their own significance and uniqueness.

Cons of sex with the former

If the feelings have not cooled yet, then the night of passion with the former can further strengthen the attachment to him. Then you will have to start trying to forget this failed love.

The partner with whom sex was after breaking up may misunderstand you – he will have a false hope for the resumption of relations. Then it will not be so easy to explain to the person that this was only the last impulse of passion.

An even more serious situation is possible – the former lover will begin to pursue the object of desire, persuading to return. If his passion is strong, then problems may begin – obsessive calls, tuition and even threats.

One episode of sex with the former can pull the next one, after it is one more and so on. And then it turns out that former partners will regularly meet in bed. And such meetings will not allow you to build new, really happy relationships with someone else.

If you have already started communicating with someone after parting, then sex with the former can spoil the nascent relationship. Even worse – if the new union has already become serious. Then it turns out that you change and deceive two people at once.Sex with the former – whether it is necessary to enter the same river twice | Psychology of relations

It is worth it or not?

An anonymous survey shows that different people and opinions on this issue are radically different. For some, sex with the former is a completely natural final chord. For others, such a format of communication is categorically unacceptable.

“For me, sex is just a pleasant way to relax. For almost three years, I regularly met with the former for this. And yes, all this time she has already lived with another “.

“I slept with the former two months after parting. And what? I hoped that we would be together again. But after sex, he just got dressed, left and stopped answering my calls “.

“With almost every girl I met, I slept more than once after parting. This is normal – they are no longer shy, but I know how to bring everyone to orgasm. “.

“Sex with the former is very difficult. I had it several times, and all the time with the same. We constantly parted and converged. Converged precisely after sex “.

“After parting, I could not forget it for a long time. I somehow drank with my girlfriends and called him. Had arrived. We slept. And I seemed to woke up – I realized that the relationship was torn not in vain. “.

Sex rules with former

If the proximity with the former has already happened and did not bring joy, you should not reproach and blame yourself. In any case, this is experience, which in the future will help make the right decisions. But if you just think about this option, you should adhere to important rules:

  • Do not make a decision about sex after drinking alcohol. In a drunken state, it is easy to get confused in your feelings.
  • It is better to refuse sex with the ex -ex -former if love for him has not yet passed. If the partner himself asks for the last chance, it is not worth it to go to bed immediately, because it may turn out to be a trap.
  • Before you agree to the proximity with the former, you should recall how serious the cause of the breakup was. With a partner’s tendency to aggression or mood swings, you should not risk.
  • Before sex, you need to clearly convey to the lover that this is just a quenching of a passion that will not result in a new round of serious relationships.
  • It is necessary to use condoms, even if the partner assures that after breaking up, he did not enter into sexual intercourse.
  • After sex, there should be no tender embrace and confessions in warm feelings. It is best to thank each other for a nice time and quickly disperse. Moreover, you should not spend the night.

So that the partner has no doubt that sex was farewell, you should not be afraid to talk about it directly. A great way to finish an intimate meeting is to say: “Thank you for the pleasure you received. This was a great completion of our relationship “.

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