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According to statistics, about 85% of couples enter into intimate relationships before marriage, however, despite this, it is after the wedding that the quality and amount of sex begins to change, and, as a rule, for the worse.
What happens to the Divine, breathtaking, unforgettable sex that was before the wedding?
It turns out that this seemingly rhetorical question is a very specific, scientifically sound answer – the whole thing is in the dopamine. Changing the status of relations causes a sharp emission of this substance in the body, so after the wedding, as a rule, the brightest sex is obtained. However, then the level of dopamine inevitably falls, and the newlyweds return to real life. This is where the problems begin. However, according to sexologists, most of them can be easily handled if you know about them in advance and be ready for this.
Accept the fact that you are different
When the level of dopamine begins to decline, lovers suddenly discover that their desires cease to coincide. Do not be scared – it’s absolutely normal. As you know, the degree of sexual attraction in men and women largely depends on the level of testosterone in the blood. However, the lower content of this hormone only means that somewhere about a third of women are simply not
think about sex until he happens to them. And this is also normal – if you are one of these women, then you just need to devote more time to preliminary caresses and kisses in order to have time to get excited.
Irina, 25: "During the honeymoon, we made love three times a day. And it was just fine, but then we returned to ordinary life – work, study, duties… And sex has become more… restrained or something. It became more difficult for me to experience excitement, and often we had sex when I didn’t want to".
Roman (Irina’s husband), 27: "Yes, problems really started with sex. And although we both read about it and therefore were prepared in a sense, still to experience it ourselves – a completely different matter. Our desires very often did not coincide, and we had to make a lot of efforts to cope with this, but we learned to understand each other."
Sexologist comment: "In the first years of marriage, after the level of dopamine has already returned to normal, it is very important to learn to understand and, more importantly, to accept the differences that exist between you. You must realize that these differences are absolutely natural and in themselves are not a problem if you are ready to work on it. Feel free to discuss this – the silence of such problems will inevitably lead to the fact that one of you will feel rejected and incomprehensible"
Do not get hung up on orgasm
Many couples experience problems due to the fact that affection for them became only a prelude to sex, and they have a stereotype, that everything must end with an orgasm. The way out of this situation is very simple: learn how to enjoy Peting, while you are still burning with passion. Explore each other’s bodies to know which caresses are pleasant to you not only as an accepting one, but also as a given. Caress each other without a goal to finish all stormy sex. This will allow you to feel closer to each other and perceive the situations when someone of you does not want sex. />
Sexologist comment: "It is in the first two years of marriage that the sexual style of the couple is formed, and two become closer to each other emotionally. Focus on achieving this particular proximity, otherwise then sexual problems will become the main topic of your relationship. Each of you should feel that the other understands and supports it – this is a very powerful emotional basis for good sex." />
Speak more often "Yes"
I don `t want? Try to forget about it and say "Yes". Of course, it sounds a little strange, but, according to psychologists, it is very important to learn how to speak in time "Yes", When your partner wants sex. Of course, this is not about the fact that you need to force yourself, just relax and let your beloved "infect" you with your desire. Why get used to refusing sex? If you are offended by something, then show it in some other way, but in no case do this a reason for refusal. The negative sensations caused by this will inevitably imprint on your sexual experience and can further lead to serious discord.
Plan
Your desires have ceased to match? You have too dense graph? You just had no time? Why not put sex on a list of priority matters? It just so happened that most of us are married or married to those who want sex more often or vice versa less often than we. If you wait for excitement, then you will miss a lot of interesting points. Learn "start" from touch, and not from the very fact of expectation of sex. This does not seem necessary during the first stages of marriage, when passions are still boiling, but sexologists claim that this will provide you with good sex in the future.
Look into the eyes
Of course, you will feel more vulnerable if you look into each other’s eyes during sex, but usually couples note that this makes them feel more sexy, more attractive, more "Here and now".
Do not refuse "Quick" Sex /> You will not always have a lot of time to make love in full – it is possible that there is no longer. So why deny yourself "Fast" sex? This will not only support you both in good shape, but also strengthen mutual passion, making relations more sharp.
Don’t make an elephant from a fly!
According to statistics, even the happiest couples do not enjoy sex somewhere out of 10. And there is nothing terrible about it. Sometimes this happens simply because sex was too hasty, you were tired or upset, or you were just not comfortable. However, all this does not mean that you have big problems! That’s life. Do not expect excellent sex every time. Or learn to choose a good moment in order to attach to a partner. |