BDSM is normal or a way of compensating complexes and deviations?.
BDSM is gaining popularity and in recent years sex shops report on an increase in attributes for non -standard sex. Thematic clubs and parties attract the attention of both the younger generation and the representatives of 50+, and after the release of the book and the film “50 Shades of Gray,” BDSM caught not a weak hype. But the question arises – BDSM is normal or all this is more likely to compensate for complexes and deviations? In what cases can we talk about deviations?
Deciphering the abbreviation BDSM
BDSM (bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism) is a sexual practice that includes the distribution of roles between practitioners in such a way that everyone receives the emotions, feelings and sensations he needs. Wishing to experience pain, experiences it. Who wants to feel his power and subjugate another person, does it.
BDSM is based on the basic and false needs of the human psyche, which were previously realized by barbaric methods through violence and aggression. There were always slaves and gentlemen, always flocked someone, raped and forced. It is enough to recall the times when people trafficking were legal! And sexual slaves existed in all seriousness.
Since all people are essentially divided into sadists and masochists, at some point they began to look for each other and in attempts to fulfill needs formed a new direction of culture, which later received its name and attracted a huge number of people. However, it is not always possible to talk about a healthy desire, very often the desire is based on complexes and deviations.
Light BDSM is normal: practice in family relationships
From the point of view of psychology, any sexual preferences cannot be considered a deviation if other people do not suffer. Based on this, we can talk about the complete norm of the BDSM of relations in a couple, when a man and a woman perceive what is happening as a role -playing game, a way of obtaining new emotions, a method of improving an intimate life.
There is nothing prejudicial in the use of strapon, flogging, rude sex, other methods of changing roles. For example, when a woman becomes a slave and fulfills the orders of her man, becomes humble, plays the role of an obedient girl.
At the same time, the opposite situation is very popular, when a confident and imperious man agrees to the role of a slave, and his partner reincarnates into a strict mistress. All this for the sake of emotions and preservation of passion in relationships.
An important criterion here is that immediately after the end of the action, all participants are returning to ordinary life. BDSM is a part of life, but not a whole life. When someone considers himself submissive on an ongoing basis or tries to be a master always and everywhere, you can declare deviations. Most likely, these are already deep complexes and a thirst for cure your wounds at the expense of another.
When BDSM is closely related to compensatory functions of the psyche
On the Internet you can find many special forums, dating sites and thematic resources in the BDSM direction. Having studied the audience and discussions on such resources, we can draw conclusions about the presence of serious deviations among most visitors. The search for a partner is based on problems and complexes, when a person does not so much give emotions as he wants to get the missing detail and thereby return self -esteem along with self -confidence.
BDSM Lower: causes and consequences
Falls of lower girls can be safely divided into categories. The first, of course, payers, by and large a prostitute. Again, no one talks about whether it is good or bad. There is a demand, there is a proposal. And it’s probably great that it is. But we must not forget that BDSM is normal, prostitution under his cover, not really.
However, it is important to understand that such girls have nothing to do with the topic. Their task is to provide services for financial rewards, and BDSM is only covering. Instead of the standard 60 minutes, the plane can use strap -on, tear off or say nasty things to humiliate and thereby satisfy the destructive needs of the client.
There are a lot of beautiful young girls in second place, claiming their passion for the topic. In fact, these are kept women who dream of finding a wealthy man ready to take responsibility for them. Interesting and unusual sex is a good bonus to Tamim Relations. Following the example of “50 shades of gray” a huge number of pretty girls want to arrange their lives. We do not condemn and do not evaluate, but honestly admitted – this is not about BDSM, this is about the desire to become a keeper under the same cover of thematic relations.
Finally the third category of lower girls. They do not provide paid services, are not in active search for a papik, but have a number of complexes, one of the key can be distinguished by a complex of electric. The lack of a full-fledged connection with the father, especially in the phallic stage of the development of the child, led to psycho-emotional injury. Such a girl will look for a dad all her life.
On BDSM sites, they also hope to get a partner ready to replace his father, to become caring, gentle, imperious, responsible. The one who wants to obey, who wants to listen, look into his eyes and trust. Under the cover of BDSM, they dream of meeting a man who will want to surrender to physically and morally, only in the first place there will always be the needs of the child, infantile and sometimes naive. This is not about BDSM, this is about a heavy complex that they decided to close in such an unusual way.
The problem of the distribution of roles
Another funny paradox in the direction of dominance and submission. In a light BDSM that practices a huge number of couples, the topic is a role -playing game that does not intersect with everyday life. Everything has long been defined and decided there, and whoever breaks whom with a whip and who dresses someone, does not matter in ordinary life.
People who seriously consider themselves themes regularly rest against the wall of misunderstanding. The rules are built on the principle of double standards, because the compensator is unable to think rationally, their goal in the implementation of their needs, the rest is secondary.
And now the situation arises. And who should pay for whom and whether to do it at all? It would seem a gentleman, having power and strength, should take responsibility for his partner, because she is weak and defenseless, humble and submissive. Everything is logical.
But it is worth turning the situation and it turns out that in the relationship between Madame-Rab, a man should pay because he is a man. And the fact that he is weak and defenseless, submissive and submissive, no one is interested in anyone. Therefore, the grief of themes created a community where women come for money, emotions and a holiday in any role. And the man pays the carnival. BDSM is normal until no one is trying to sit on the neck of the partner. Then commerce begins.
BDSM is normal? Where is the line between the norm and deviations?
Psychologists have repeatedly conducted research on people who practice BDSM and compared them with those who choose conservative sex. It was not possible to get any beyond the results, but several funny points were still revealed.
Lovers of the topic declare that BDSM helps them free themselves from anxiety, neurosis. frustration and stress. That is, the fact that people come here to treat their spiritual wounds were confirmed here. On one of the popular resources in the world, psychologists revealed a high level of aggression in the comments, which indicates attempts to discard emotions, free themselves from experiencing and moral pressure.
The main difficulties of all actively practicing BDSMs were named pride and personality disorder. Here you need to be neat with formulations, because this does not mean at all that BDSM is interested in exclusively sick people and all these films with straps are a clear sign of the absence of the king in the head.
It is important how and under what circumstances a person does this. Family psychologists-sexologists note the positive influence of BDSM on family relations. This allows you to better recognize each other, strengthen trust, break the boundaries and become much closer. New emotions and the opportunity to realize any of their fantasies with beloved people lead to a serious improvement in the microclimate in the family. And then no one talks about any complexes. BDSM is normal and everything that happens in bed is the norm if, by mutual agreement and with the goal of giving a partner more than you want to take. Everything else is the clientele of the psychologist and at some point even a psychiatrist.